I've discovered that life is a series of human relationships. In fact, when reduced down to its smallest denominator, that's all life is. We having nothing in this life but the relationships we have entered into, and we will take nothing with us into eternity except for what was born and nurtured in the context of those relationships.
Thus, it is extremely important that we develop each relationship in our life to its fullest. No one would dispute if I magnified the importance of the parent-child relationship, the husband- wife relationship, the brother-sister relationship, etc. There is, however in my mind, a need to magnify the importance of the friend relationship. Many would never class it in importance with the aforementioned types of relationships, but I think that it should be. Look with me, if you will, at some of the unique advantages in the friend relationship.
1. It is one of the few relationships in life that we choose. We have no choice as to who our mother, our father, our brother, our sister, our son, our daughter is. God lovingly chooses them for us. Because He does, we readily recognize that they are sacred relationships. There are a few relationships, however, that should be recognized as at least equal to those mentioned above. These relationships are made sacred, not because they were chosen for us, but instead are sacred because they are chosen by us. One such relation is that of a friend.
If I am your friend, it is because I choose to be your friend. If you are my friend, it is because you choose to be my friend. What an honor we have given to each other! Of all the people in the world, we have given our friendship one to the other. How sacred then is such a relationship!
2. It can be a completely unselfish relationship. The child needs the parent. All things being equal, in later years the parent needs the child. The husband needs the wife, and the wife needs the husband. In each of these relationships there is, however holy, a righteous selfishness that is involved. However, when I chose to be your friend, I chose to give and not to receive. I chose to help and not to be the one being helped. I chose to love and not to be loved. I chose to care for you and not to be cared for by you. In being your friend I ask nothing of you. I am willing to give everything, which means that the object of such a friendship may rest comfortably in an unselfish relationship.
3. Friendship is one of the few relationships in this life that never changes. The child eventually grows up and leaves home. The parent grows old and passes away. Brothers and sisters move away from home. At first the child needs the parent; later the parent needs the child. Even in marriage the needs change with the passing of the years. In friendship it doesn't have to be so. Many parents admit that about the time they start to learn how to be good parents, the children are grown. The same is true with many of our relationships in life. But the friend relationship is one of the few, if not the only one, where one can spend years becoming an expert and still have time to use what he has learned, for the relationship may remain the same.
4. The friend relationship is one that doesn't need the acceptance of another. To become a husband means that another must accept the proposal to be a wife. To become a wife means that there must be a proposal by another. True friendship, however, is not based upon this. I can be your friend, even if you choose not to be my friend. In other words, to be a friend, friendship does not need to be reciprocated. This means that if I am your friend, I have chosen you from a wide field of possibilities. I did not choose you because you accepted an invitation from me, for I became your friend before you accepted. In some cases, I am your friend even if you never accept, but, oh, what an honor it is to have a friend!
6. One need never give up one friendship for another. In some relationships of life there can be only one. In the friend relationship, one relationship doesn't have to be traded off if another one is acquired. This relationship is never lost to another. You may be my friend while, at the same time, you are being someone else's friend. When I become a friend to another, I may still remain your friend.
7. The friend relationship is one that can be (and should be) completely spiritual. Most of life's relationships are based upon physical needs. To be sure, there are spiritual needs also. In any relationship of life the spiritual should be the most important. I can become your friend, however, without there being one single physical need for you to supply. Our souls may be knit together, and our relationship need not be based upon the satisfying of physical appetites.
8. A friend may be chosen at any time of life. Parents come at birth; children come to us in young adulthood; brothers and sisters come to us during childhood. People at a certain age are unable to have children, but a friend may be chosen at eight or eighty, nine or ninety, ten or one hundred.
Friendship is a high and lofty relationship. In our microwave society, few ever know its blessed depths. Most go through their whole life, never knowing a friend, and certainly, most never take the time to be a friend.
In summary; the great relationships of life are husband-wife, mother-daughter, father-son, brother-sister, and . . . friend.
Happy is the man who has a friend.
Happier is the man who is a friend.
Happiest is the man who has a friend and is a friend.
Oh how happy I am!
